The Fifth Horseman: Rick Santorum: Our Worst Senator

Thursday, July 07, 2005

 

Rick Santorum: Our Worst Senator

I've decided to try something new today. Today, I am going to write and in-depth profile of one of our legislators: Pennsylvania Senator Rick Santorum.

"Why Rick Santorum?", you may ask.

I'll tell you why. Today I am focusing on Rick Santorum because I beleive he is, in all likelihood, the worst Senator on Capital Hill.

I am going to present my case through a series of quotes uttered by Mr. Santorum. Quotes that that I have researched extensively on Google and selected specifically to make Mr. Santorum look like a sexist, homophobic moron.

Which he is. Enjoy the quotes!

This quote is old and waaayy over-quoted, but it's an excellent indicator of the kind of man Rick is:

"Every society in the history of man has upheld the institution of marriage as a bond between a man and a woman. Why? Because society is based on one thing: that society is based on the future of the society. And that's what? Children. Monogamous relationships. In every society, the definition of marriage has not ever to my knowledge included homosexuality. That's not to pick on homosexuality. It's not, you know, man on child, man on dog, or whatever the case may be." - Interview, April 23, 2003

My retort: What the fuck, Rick? I don't even want to respond to this one.

"If the Supreme Court says that you have the right to consensual (gay) sex within your home, then you have the right to bigamy, you have the right to polygamy, you have the right to incest, you have the right to adultery. You have the right to anything," -Interview, April 21, 2003

My Retort: First of all, adultery is legal, you retard. Second of all, you're a douchebag. Third of all, stay out of the bedroom.

"From Catholic Online, concerning liberals effect on Catholic Priests morality: "It is startling that those in the media and academia appear most disturbed by this aberrant behavior[pedophilia], since they have zealously promoted moral relativism by sanctioning "private" moral matters such as alternative lifestyles. Priests, like all of us, are affected by culture. When the culture is sick, every element in it becomes infected. While it is no excuse for this scandal, it is no surprise that Boston, a seat of academic, political and cultural liberalism in America, lies at the center of the storm."

My retort: Wow. Apparentlly the liberal media cause Catholic priests to become pedophiles.

An amazing leap of logic from an amazing man.

That's all the quotes I can stomach for now.

Today's Lesson: Keep politics out of the bedroom. Pay attention to healthcare reform or education. But for god's sake, lay off the gays already.

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